Chrismy.

I feel so blessed.
My Christmas was very family orientated yesterday which resulted in me being absolutely spoilt rotten.
My grandparents purchased Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's book titled 'Influence' and wrapped it up in nice green and red paper for me.
My mum and dad bought me the 'Holga 35mm Black Corner' camera. Every picture taken with my new camera has a special 'black corner' darkening effect around the edges. Sheer brilliance!
My darling mother also handed me a perfect silver Marc Jacobs cuff and ring. They are definately very special pieces.

My whole family also gave each other 'Oxfam' donations. It was nice to do something for people across the other side of the world for a change. I'd like to think that we helped some families out on Christmas day somewhere in another country.

I recently had some negative feedback on my blog which came almost immediately after a fight with a very close friend.

When I finish school I would love to have an enter score that allows me to study journalism, most people who know me know that.
I started this blog at a time when I wasn't attending a lot of school.
It was a tough time for me but I found that this blog gave me a great outlet to practise my writing, and it still does.
Now, negative comments are obviously hurtful. However I realised that if I am going to make it in the journalism scene I need to remember that people aren't always going to agree with me and my opinions.
But me and the people who love me think that the fact that I'm ballsy enough to put my opinions out there for other people to read shows that I have a lot more courage than any anonymous reader who is going to verbally spit on a post of mine.

I hope everyone had a magical Christmas.
Jayo.

Busting with fan mail.

You know you've got blog readers when you're getting hate comments.

"wow jayo, you have once again proved how much of a hypocritical joke you are!

Since when has anyone said that public school students are 'primitive' or more lowly than private schools.

You seem to be the only person that seems to believe this. For fucks sake, NO ONE HAS ANYTHING AGAINST PUBLIC SCHOOLS.

You have this idea in your head that private schooled students have some agenda against public schools, that we believe ourself to be wealthier, superior and "far less primitive."

I can say for a fact that most of the kids I know from private schools have extremely hard working families just so they can send their kids to a private school. No we don't think we're greater than you, and one of my best mates happens to go to a public school and she is smarter AND more successful than i will ever be.

And believe it or not jayo, I know for a fact you attended a private girls school, and that although you're now at a public school, several of your so called "friends" happen to attend private schools. Get off your high horse. Try and understand people for who they are, rather than what school they go to.

And as for the xaviers, fucken good on them."

This pathetic 'anon' is clearly headed places in life. Good on you pal. It's cute that you tracked down an old blog of mine to lose your shit over. The fact that you have it in your little head that I judge people for what school they attend makes you laughable.
What a pathetic attempt to bring someone down. I bet you felt super after it. When you next feel driven to abuse my webpage be sure to leave your name instead of being spine-less.

It is simple really. If you don't like my blog, don't read it.
XX Jayo

Abbey Lee Fantasy.

I want nothing more than to get my nose pierced the exact way Abbey Lee Kershaw has hers done.
I have included an image of the Australian beauty below in case you aren't familiar with her facial ring.
My boyfriend detests the idea however a close friend seems to think that it could potentially look totally chic.



We also need to keep in mind my incredibly low pain threshold. Having someone stick a big needle in my nose isn't on the top of my 'Things To Get Done' list however, if the piercing is going to get me mildly closer to looking as rad as Abbey Lee then I should quit the whinging.

I did have my first blood test the other day where the Pathology nurse used the biggest horse needle I had ever laid eyes on. Not only that, but the demon woman took four damn viles of blood which meant changing the containers three times.
If I can sit through that, I can perhaps sit through a piercing.


Jeez. The gal is pure bliss.

Fun fact - Jayo has not one piercing.

If anyone is even reading this let me know about your piercing experiences. Will I sob if I go through with it? I can almost answer with a firm yes.
Good eve blog enthusiasts.

Jayo XX

Warehouse wonder.

On Saturday I braved the wind and the rain to make an appearance at the Retrostar Warehouse Sale where nothing was over ten dollars. Although each piece of clothing was burried deep within soggy cardboard boxes that were strewn all over the floor there were a few good finds.
My purchase of the day was a cute little floral number that had a ruffle around the waist.
It was quite lengthy and had rips in the sleeves so after spending the afternoon with my sewing genius Grandma it was 'Dollars and Sense' posting worthy.

Funnily enough in all these poor quality shots I am on the phone to my boyfriend arguing about fashion.
Fashion is such a personal thing and I think that dressing mildly astray from the norm can cause an uproar.

Today I went to see a movie to which I wore my new dress and my Marc Jacobs heels. I wanted to feel beautiful instead of just slapping on my leather leggings and a pair of flats.
At every turn I could feel people asking themeslves what this six foot three girl was doing so dressed up. Unfortunately, I let the unfashionable around me ruin my day. I vowed never to let it happen again. Afterall, most of the judgemental jury were women in their fifties wearing pant suits and brown moccasins.

Let me know what you think of the dress and my scribblings.
Feedback is always far and beyond appreciated.
The other day I rang my dad to tell him about a nice blogger comment. Doesn't that just scream freak.

Jayo!

Eating Cigarettes.

'I Heard They Eat Cigarettes'.

A genius little Melbourne brand that you may or may not have heard of.

The designs are so versatile and nothing is too pricey, but because they're so exclusive there are only a few places in Melbourne and/or Australia who stock their stuff.

If you live in Melbourne, one shop that stocks the brand is 'Lenko', a shop that is on level 3 of Melbourne Central in the city.

Another shop that stocks these little pieces of heaven is 'Deetmah'. It is located in East Ivanhoe on Lower Heidelberg road.

I have been trying to get my hands on the Intergalactic Planetary Singlet (the white singlet with the planets on it, duhh) for the longest time, however, because this brand sells like Peach Ice Tea on a hot day, no one in Melbourne stocks it anymore.

I have had some really delightful correspondance with the designer of the brand who said he'd try and track me down the singlet. I will be on the edge of my seat until I hear from him!

Kisses -

Jayo.

Through the lense.

I felt compelled to share with you a few photos.
My friend asked me to model for one of her photography SAC's and I think she did a beautiful job with the photos. These three are my favourites.

Boring post really, don't have anything outrageous to share with all of you lovely readers.
Let me know what you think of the shots.

Love Jayo.

Coming undone.

A small collection of goodies that I am lusting over.

So, the clothes in the image are by 'Cassette Society'. The lace crop top (I feel so sixth grade saying that) is divine paired with the slouchy black vest and the carrot top pants.
The silver rhinestone purse is to die for and I can just see myself now, schlepping it over my shoulder while I wine and dine somewhere in the city with my boyfriend, talking about American politics and Rachel Zoe's fashion empire.
The metallic platform wedges speak for themselves. The detailing on the heel is perfect.
And finally I threw in two colourful bracelets to break up the basic silver/black look. I'm seeing them hanging magically from my left wrist while I clutch onto a chilled peach and mango tea.

I don't write nearly enough as I would like to about fashion considering it is something that I'm so morbidly interested in.
You can walk into my small room and you'll probably only be able to see three things.
The first would be my double bed. I don't want to toot my own horn but I feel compelled to tell you that it has been referred to as the comfiest bed in the Southern Hemisphere. Just putting it out there.
Then you'd probably glance briefly at my bedside table. It is covered in jewelry, magazines, vitamins, notebooks, framed photos, broken pens and neutral nail polishes.
The last thing you'd notice is the floor. Well, in truth, you wouldn't notice the floor at all, rather, you'd notice what was masking my floor from daylight.
CLOTHES. Piles and piles of clothes. Mountainous clumps of vintage laying on my carpet.

I don't often splurge on mainstream retail pieces. My wardrobe consists of opp shop goodies and my families vintage. I love waking up in the morning knowing that I will potentially pair a $90 pair of shorts with a $3 shirt and a $5 blazer.
My shoe collection is by far the most amusing. You will run your eyes along the rows of poorly placed shoe boxes and discover that my Marc Jacobs wedges are sitting happily next to my $10 gold grandma flats from a Salvo's. My $3 pale grey pumps are chin-chillin' to the right of my mum's wooden Miu Miu platforms that I stole one day when she wasn't looking.

I love that fashion is an expression of self.
I hope that when I'm 80 years old I'll still be expressing myself with crazy clothing.

Happy Friday -

Jayo XXX

Come out of the closet Anon!!

My boyfriend just suggested it was probably mum.
Mum, if it's you leaving me perfect blog comments then stop. Say that shit over dinner.
And if it isn't my mum. THEN TELL ME WHO YOU ARE!
More hints. More hints.
The RUSSH idea was nice :) Editer in chief at Oyster? You can be my right hand human. I think you're a female but I don't want to sound sexist.

On another note, changed my header from Cory to some other bird.
If you're a fashion fiend you'll know that 'The Cobra Snake' is most likely associated with both women.
The new girl has a cool bikini on.
I am so jealous of anyone photographed by Mark Hunter, particularly Tallulah. I am naming my child Tallulah, regardless of gender. Hopefully the child grows into the name and blossoms in the same fashion Mark Hunter's favie did.Beyond jealous people. BEYOND JEALOUS.
Go look. Go on.
http://thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos.html

I am heading off to nie nies. Sleep. Snooze time. Bed.
XXX

jayo

Anon.

I'm not usually one to post two blogs in one sitting, but bloggers, get excited.
IT IS HAPPENING!

I just got a comment from an anonymous patron giving me the biggest confidence boost in the world. Whoever that was, honestly, from the bottom on my heart, thank you so much.
It is kind people like you who make the world the most brilliant place.

I am beaming. Literally. I think there is some sort of a glow protruding from my morbidly large body.

And now that I'm writing I may as well write a little bit.
My dad, who is quite an inspirational man, told me a beautiful Native American story.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 wolves. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied,
"The one you feed.

And I am almost like the owner of the Evil wolf inside me. I feed it constantly. Play with it when it's feeling particularly dosile. I am so hard on myself.
But it's because of people like sir/madame 'Anon' that I feel compelled to throw the Good wolf a bone.

Thankyou readers, you really do make this worthwhile.

XX

Cheeky.

I love reading feedback.

On my last post I got two really kind comments. It's nice to think that people occasionally read the ramblings of my somewhat cloudy mind.
And especially on the last post. It's uplifting to think that there are other people out there who aren't treating humans with complete and utter disdain.


Now, on a lighter note, you'll all be pleased to hear that I purchased a pair of powder blue Hi-Cheeky Wrangler shorts. Although forking out ninety dollars for a dash of denim isn't outlandishly desirable, I am madly in love with them.

You can see them in the above photo along with my perfect brown bag which I purchased from a friend for fifteen dollars. My bank account has been kicked in the dick a few times in the last few days, that's for sure.

Anyway, I'm glad I have time for blogging again. It felt as if a part of me was missing for a little while there.

Jayo XX

What I will never understand.

I will never understand why some people feel compelled to suck the happiness from within you?
What honestly possesses somebody to be frivolous with insults, using verbal abuse to undermine you, everything you live and stand for?

I will never ever understand what causes some humans to just be cruel.

I never got the whole 'oh, they're probably just insecure' thing.
Sure that's fine with me, be as insecure as you fucking want to be, but why then, on top of your own shit, bring other people down with you?

Then there is that whole 'oh they probably just had a bad day and they're taking it out on you'.
Well when did that become acceptable.
I will never, ever be fine with taking shit unnecessarily from somebody just because they're feeling particularly down.
These self centred low lifes need to be taught to take responsibility.
Too many times have I allowed myself to be blamed for other people's misfortunes.

It doesn't sit right with me.
Not at all.
But the most unfortunate thing about it is that it's so common that every single day we accept it.
It's trivial.

Well, it shouldn't be.

Forever.

It feels like forever since I last posted.

I haven't been able to get on the ol' blog much due to looming exams.

I had a few comments from anon patrons asking me not to perform the dye job.

TOO LATE!

Don't worry though bloggers, it was a wash out one. I'd heard that they don't completely wash out which is true, mine didn't. However my hair is still blonde, just a bit darker.

I do however miss my totally blonde hair. Maybe in the Summer time it will come back a little.

The second photo was from the day I did it, so my hair is a lot lighter now. But I did really like the original colour.

This is a very petty blog on my behalf.
I don't have anything uplifting or soulful to write about at the moment. Exams are definately abusing my wit.

Jayo x.

I'm dye-ing!

I have decided to dye my hair chestnut brown.

The people who read my blog probably know that I am a dye job virgin and have had sandy blonde hair for my whole life so it's going to be a bit of a change.

I was going to say, 'it's going to be such a big change!' and then I realised how pathetic that is. I really hate it when people talk about trivial things and indicate it's going to CHANGE their life.

A big change is when you move schools to somewhere in the burbs after being cooped up with pretentious private school girls for four years.

A big change is going through your parents' bitter divorce.

A big change is losing a loved one to the grim reaper or a drug addiction.

A big change is catching up with a friend you haven't seen in a few months, only to discover they have developed an eating disorder.

Not indicating in any way, shape or form that I've experienced all or any of those things, I just think the world is a bit bigger than hair colour or buying a new sweater.

I'm sick of hearing about how the fifteen year old girl next to me on the train had her world flipped upside down when she found out Sportsgirl had gotten a new vintage section!!! SUCH a big change!

In saying that, I felt like perhaps getting some feedback on the dye idea.

Also, I was just watching Romeo and Juliet and my god bloggers!!

Leonardo was a huge spunk in his hay day. Not that I didn't know that, I just copped a huge refresher though.

Another spot of news is that I'm going to the races on Saturday the 8th with my boyfriend and if the dye job I carry out looks shit, I could look a mess.

I got a rad little 80's party dress from the Chapel Street Bizarre that is silver and black.

I'll make sure to post photos when I get some taken with the hair and/or the dress.

Have a superb rest-of-long-weekend all.

xo Jayo

Immortal Beloved.

Ludwig Van Beethoven to his 'Immortal Beloved'
Letter 1

Good morning, on July 7

My thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved
I can live only wholly with you or not at all -
Be calm my life, my all. Only by calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together.
Oh continue to love me, never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
Ever thine
Ever mine
Ever ours.


I just watched the Sex And The City movie for the second time (extended edition, pure bliss) and in one of the first scenes, Carrie reads out this poem to Big (aka John James Preston).
I think it's beautiful and utterly timeless.
Call me a sap but the line, the simple line, 'never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved' is magical.
Boy doesn't that just bring it home?

Don't ever question the love in my heart for you. Ever.

Love Jayo.

Silver lining.

I got to thinking.

"It's sad when people you know, become people you knew.
When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life.
How you used to be able to talk for hours and now you can barely even look at them."

Sure. That's shit, right, I get that.

It sucks when someone you used to love suddenly becomes some distant memory.

But you know what...

Friendships don't just go kaput for no reason.

If two close buds are going to terminate their common bonds then there must be a greater good.

Losing a 'partner in crime' obviously causes hurt. I've been hit by loss from left, right and centre. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason. If someone is going to walk out of your life then so be it.

Life has to move on.

People come and go from our lives and make varying impacts. Some will be negative and some positive. Some small and some large.

But even if that friendship doesn't last, the footprint they left of your soul will.

Jayo xo

Fat men.

You know what really fires me up. I was thinking about it today.

The crazy notion that all women should look like the chicks from Hugh Hefner's playboy mansion.

I mean, short of stuffing my tits full of silicon and spending hours at my exclusive home gym (that just between you and me, I don't own), without dedicating every minute of my life to dieting and exercise, there is no way I could maintain a flat stomach and colossal boobs. IT IS HORRIFICALLY UNREALISTIC.

However. The gross men who are making these generalisations are usually fat and have bigger breasts than the average female (yes mmmm man boobs get me going).

I hate that these disgusting men expect us to look fabulous every second of the day but that rule somehow surpasses them and they're allowed to be obese and obnoxious.

Double standard anyone?

I for one find it really, really irritating.

Get fucked.

Love from Jayo.
Somebody who sure doesn't look like any of the aforementioned girls.

I took to LOOKBOOK.

When your wardrobe is letting you down I suggest you take a look at http://lookbook.nu/ because it is just busting with fashion incentives from people all over the world.

A fellow blogging pal got me onto the website and now I can't stop. I'm a lookbook fiend.

I thought I would share a few of my favourite looks with you in case you can't make it to the site.

I love this bitty's blazer and high wasted shorts combo. Shame she lives in Stockholm. I wouldn't mind befriending her and her obviously delicious wardrobe.

Well this photo alone is dishy. Then there are her long long grey socks, her Chanel bag and the cute little dress. Lana here lives in Seattle which is fashionably unfair.

Now this Montréal chum is wearing only the most perfect hat. Her billowed dress and lacey tights make this outfit a match made in heaven.

Her eyes are sheltered from the Californian sun by a cute pair of white framed Ray Ban's and the dishevelled car she's laying on looks so chic.

Her all black outfit screams class and her little hat is much like the one I just got from an Opp Shop for six dollars.

And with that, I sign off.

There are a tonne of other great photos on the site that I suggest you bloggers check out and there are heaps of outfit ideas. Exciting.

Hope the weekend treated everyone spectacularly.
With love, Jayo.

And also.

A beautiful story to share with you all.

I am at my boyfriend's house sitting at his desk typing away on his acer desktop comp.
However, my boyfriend is not at home. He is over at his best friend's house until late this evening.
Strange, I know, but his family are pretty much mine so they love it when I hover around the place.

While I am sitting here, reading about Heidi Montag and her goose of a boyfriend, in stumbles my boyfriend's mum with a big hot cup of hot chocolate and two biscuits.

I nearly burst into tears. What a gesture!

The cocoa is absolutely heart warming. I have never felt so loved.

Jayo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

New direction.

I was just in the middle of singing 'Tattoo' by Jordin Sparks for some reason unbeknown to me and realised that the line 'don't look back got a new direction' sounds a lot like 'don't look back i got a nude erection'.
I certainly laughed out loud a little.

On the note of music, I feel compelled to share with everyone that recently I forked out a lazy $200 dollars for a ticket to see Rihanna and Chris Brown perform.
And while we're on the subject of Rihanna, here is a bit of a tale for you blog followers and/or enthusiasts.

This evening while I was jogging on my boyfriend's treadmill a song came on that I assumed was the regular ol' version of Umbrella by Rihanna. A catchy pop song that did pretty well in its time. Probably goes off every Friday night down on Brunswick Street at the local over 35's night.

Anyway, it was actually the VNDLSM remix and by the intro I was already in love with it.
It inspired me to jog that little bit faster, and anything that motivates me to exercise must be top notch.
A totally perfect workout song and when it hits the drop, PERFECTION (I word that I'm noticing slowly but surely that I overuse).

I have really made things easy for you jokers by adding the video/song combination into this post so do me a favour, listen to it and then comment me with your thoughts on the ditty.



Jayo!

Xavier mucks up, then fucks up.

I am in the middle of a media honeymoon!
On the 20th of October, in the heat of muck-up week, the Xavier students went a little over board.

Now, I'm no catholicized 'Virgin Mary' princess. I don’t expect the absolute last week of school for anyone to be prim and proper. There is the promise of piss bombs, eggs and drunk and disorderly behaviour.
I do not however agree with the way the Xavier students handled their most recent farewell to high school.

A statement, that might I add was short and sweet, from the school read "...a large number of year 12 students exhibited unacceptable behaviour".

Spot on.

When did it become super rad to terrorize (the words of The Age) a main road while you're absolutely blind drunk? Keep that to Saturday nights thanks lads.

And pissing on fences in broad daylight is never great. Defy the words of tacky tee-shirts around Melbourne and please don't rock out with your cock out.

One student even rang up The Age and eloquently delivered this very touching quote - "If we were blind drunk and barely able to stand, how the fuck did we get into Kew".
Um, are you kidding. I see drunk metro's come out of 'Room' every weekend and they can still schlep themselves into McDonalds. It's an expression pal. I don't think anyone expected you to actually be deprived of all sight.

Anyway. This should prove to everyone that a private school education at one of the most prestigous boy schools in Melbourne certainly doesn't make you any less primative than someone from a public school. In fact, Xavier is the only school who has had to take such drastic action against their year 12 students so far this year.

Hilarious!

To read an article about the festivities head HERE yeeah.



Jayo.

Desperately seeking Ani.

I love love love! Ani Difranco.

Her song 'Untouchable Face' is devilish.

"think i'm going for a walk now

i feel a little unsteady

i don't want nobody to follow me

except maybe you.

i could make you happy you know

if you weren't already

i could do a lot of things

and i do."

Oh honestly people, go and download it.

Jayo.

T Birds. More like T Bags.

Ok yes that was lame.
However I am in the middle of watching 'Grease' and it is all so naff.

It had slipped my mind that in the fifties, smoking made you a 'rebel without a cause' and an ankle length skirt was riskayyy.
Being a cheerleader didn't make you a whore and the T-bird/Pink Lady characters with their engraved blazers and their run down cars rooled the school!

I think the best part of the movie is when Sandy (the naive Aussie) dumps Danny and picks up a new jock boyfriend. When the teeny boppers are all down at the local diner Sandy and Danny keep exchanging longing looks. He is subsequently with his mates playing 'too cool for school' (an act which is so totally see through, duhh) and she is with her simple sporty bf, lamenting over the spillage of some vanilla shake on her peach cardi.

Get these teens into some super slim acid washed cheap monday's and some baggy white tee's stat!
I need to turn 'Grease' off the TV. The only rockin' thing about this movie is seeing Johnnie is his hay day, and boppin' along to the tunes.

Love Jayo x

If the price is right.

No, this blog isn't going to be about the terrible game show 'The price is right'. It is going to be about money and fashion, and the ties the two have formed over the years.

I was on the tram today when a perfectly proportioned goddess dressed in a calf-length charcoal pencil skirt and a ruffled crème shirt sat opposite me. Her manicured toe nails were partially concealed by the patent leather sky-high platforms that she was wearing. Her sandy blonde locks were slightly curled and sat just above her shoulders. As I pretended not to look at her longingly, she pulled a pair of diamond encrusted ipod headphones out of her huge vintage glomesh bag that was also crème and plugged them with ease into her video ipod (and yes, I'm completely aware that by this stage I sound like a creep).

As I looked down at my five dollar navy blue blazer, my second hand red shirt, mum's old flats and my dirty white shorts I wondered, does money really help to sustain a killer wardrobe?
And yes it does. BUT, that isn't to say that broke as kids like me can't have superb style.
Although every item of clothing in the above mentioned woman's wardrobe probably cost more than my tuition, I would rather a Brunswick opportunity shop to a ritzy boutique full of expensive generic clothes any day!

It is now, that I sign off.
The footnote of this post is that money is great. The more money I have then the more money I can blow on people's old clothes so it's a win win for all parties involved.

Jayo x

Let me be Beha.

This doe-eyed lass embodies all things beauty related.

Her waif like physique. The precious right cheek specific dimple. Milky flawless skin and a spunky as scripture tat that reads 'this too shall pass'.

It doesn't get much better than miss Beha.

I do however, like her better with the side fringe she's sporting up top. Any takers?

Jayo

Romeo and Juliet.

I am the first of anyone to admit that young love has a firm grip on me.
My boyfriend and I hold hands in the library, peck in the canteen and dance in my living-room to Chris Brown.
Something that really irritates me is when people get really pissy about public displays of affection.
Now, I'm not some alpha freak who loves to watch pimple covered teens mack at the table next to me.
People who stick their tongues down their partners throats really makes my blood boil.
And explain to me why forty year old couples think it's perfection to grope one another while they're standing next to me at the local pedestrian crossing.

Anyway, people at school are always getting all up in my grill about kissing my boyfriend in front of them.
It isn't even french-naff-as-tongue kissing. We just delight in the occasional peck and/or cuddle.

And don't tell me to get a room. What makes you think that I revel in showing you and your gal pals just how much I love my boyfriend. Don't you think that I'd be in a private room if I could be? But no, I am stuck at school learning about linguistics and the history of Kung Fu cinema.

So now, lets see if I can piss everybody off just that little bit more.

I love him a lot.

Jayo xo.

Is this the girl from Gossip Girl because it's really got me confused. I mean, really.

Someone help me out here. Is this Serena Van Der Woodsen/Blake Lively (they are in fact, the same person).

Things that bother me about this image.

1) Her face is oddly white in comparison to the rest of her mildly tanned body.

2) Her hair is partially grey. Did I miss a few weeks where it became wicked to look like an eighty year old?

3) The celebratory ribbon used is brown. Who decorates their chosen wedding reception venue with pooh brown ribbon?

And I mean honestly, where do I start with the dude? He is wearing those glasses I not only hate, but they are taped together. Prom of 88' anyone? And he looks like he's jammed a pair of candy teeth in his mouth. Also he is representing a bowl cut, and it is not a wicked bowl cut like the one I sported at the prime age of five. It is a naff as can be full fringed salad bowl hair cut.

Also, his bow tie is saggy.

A confused and irritated Jayo signs off.

Second hand splendour.

Boyfriend took me to two bookstores on the way home from school today.
The first, was your typical Borders type store. Over-priced and smelled strongly of crisp new book covers and un-bended pages. I found a book and fell in love with it. Flipped it over and breezed through the blurb before my eyes glanced over the price tag.
Twenty dollars.
And if you've read the previous blog that is just a whole lot of cash that I just don't have.
So I put it back on the shelf and shuffled out of the shop with boyfriend close behind.

Then, a mere fifty metres down the road, we stumbled across a tiny little second hand book store.
Books were strewn all over the floor and you could barely make your way through the scattered book shelves of oddly organised paperbacks.
As we were scaling the aisles of crime novels I came across the exact book that I wanted in the pricey store for fourteen dollars less. I could not believe it.
So I whisked it up to the counter as quick as I could and paid for it with haste.

Over a quater pounder and a large half coke/half raspberry slushie, boyfriend and I flicked through the pages of horrific stories about Ed Gein and Ted Bundy. Absolute perfection!

Will keep you posted on how perfect my cheap book is.

Love Jayo.

Hey big spender!

Started this promising weekend with eighty delicious dollars.
Blew seventy of that dosh on the lace-ups and the jacket on Saturday morn which, in case you're crap at math, left me with ten dollars.
Then, Saturday night, made a solid fifty coin by waitressing at an uptown, pretentious fortieth birthday. When I finished work, got tipsy with the bar staff and a few of the children of the birthday girl.
So Sundyyyyy morn, woke up bright and early and headed down to the Camberwell market. Picked up the custest little brown satchel bag and a wicked red top with studs on it. Way retrrro.
And after that, I grabbed a few rolls of sushi and a can of Diet Coke.
And now, I'm sitting on fifteen dollars.
Somebody give me a job. I am steadily becoming poorer.
Well ye. This was really just a whinge blog.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Jayo xo.

The key to my heart.

The key to my heart can be found in a tinsy little boutique on Brunswick street called Currency.
They sell superb one off items from a tonne of funky eras. Even talking about it makes my heart flutter!

I was completely set on purchasing this beautiful electric blue dress with a bow tie neck from the 70's but it was far too small. When I discovered that the zip wouldn't do up past my shoulder blades a little part of me died inside.

So I looked at a few of their other spectacular items and fell madly in love with a pair of black lace ups!
They had the most perfect crocodile detailing on the front of them and along the sides and a winsy little heel.
Here they are, the most perfectly manufactured shoes, ever!

I also came across a delicious navy dinner jacket with big detailed buttons and cute little bows on the cuffs.
This shop was just busting with goodies!! So I purchased that too. It looks black in this photo but don't stress, it isn't.

Anyway. I am ecstatic. I got straight home and put it all on and paraded around my house like some sort of a juvenile tweenager. And no I didn't misspell 'teenager'. I mean TWEENager. You know, those naff as 11 and 12 year olds who smother themselves in barbie make-up and talk as if they're twenty five.

Anyway, I plan on wearing my shoes and jacket until death does us part. And then I will hopefully be cremated in them as well.

Jayo.

In awe!

The Lou Doillon collection for Lee Cooper is simply delicious.
The eclectic style of this range is superb!!
And of course, Lou herself is just a shining beacon of perfect-ness (it is gradually becoming more and more evident that i'm not attending english classes).
Just look at this blue pantsuit/buttoned shorts ensemble that miss Doillon has teamed with a dishy black hat and a big ol' brooch. Could you not just kidnap her and put her in a glass case and keep that glass case in your bedroom??

That aside, the collection includes a few things that just make my mouth water!
The Dodger Bag is the most perfect clutch I have ever seen. It is mammoth and covered in the most delightful flowered pattern I have ever seen. And the Catherine sweater is promising but looks woolen. Wool itches me. Regardless, the collection is top notch. I highly recommend checking it out at -
http://www.leecooper.com/lou_doillon/

TOTAL PERFECTION!
They only stock their stuff in Collingwood though and that is the most difficult place to access via means of public transport. That, and I am absurdly lazy.

Yeah, well. Seeya.
Jayo.

Melbourne Street Fashion.

JAYO FEATURES IN;

http://www.melbournestreetfashion.com/

and i'm real excited.

The outfit is total rubbish but it sure is pleasant to be recognised as a part of Melbourne's most fashionable.

I am shown on the page labelled 'most viewed'. Could I be any cooler.

(yes I am tooting my own horn here. cut me some slack)

JAYO MAKES AN APPEARANCE

And 'shierl' says she loves my jacket. I love it too shierl.

Farewell from a very glowing Jayo xo

Summer standards.

As I almost somewhat regretfully write this most recent post, I am repeating the phrase 'inner beauty counts the most' over and over in my head.

Hopefully others will be in a similar mind frame when Summer dawns on us and I dust off the bathers.

So in preparation for the big season I have been doing some casual brand research and it has dawned on me.

People don't actually expect normal human beings to look like these bikini models do they?

If you are reading this and muttering to yourself 'no shit jayo' then I am clearly behind the times and in need of a serious diet.

But honestly, take the JETS model for example.

Are people freakin' serious? Don't tell me that this is the new Summer expectation!
Another example lies within Miranda Kerr and her dishy Seafolly shoot.

It seems that toned tummies, big boobies, perfecto tans and delicious beach hair is all the rage.
But I now pose the question to you, fellow blogspot enthusiasts.

What if, you look like this...

I mean, this is a pretty recent photo of me and it's going to take atleast two or three weeks to shed a little of my extra poundage.
But honestly, will I just be socially shunned due to not looking like a supermodel?

All this aside, you will probably still see me tearing up the waves in some foul last season bikini, sporting love handles and back fat.
Embrace it Australia!

Keep me posted with any phenominal Summer slim down diets other blogging fiends! I will try anything twice.

Jayo.

Shady business.

These are the shades that I just purchased from ebay!

Postage for one dollar ninety five.

Glasses for nine dollars ninety five.

CHEAP AS!

I am crazy about the yellaa bits of them.

Nothing warms my heart more than a pair of fake Ray-Ban Wayfarers.

Thank-you fake Ray-Ban ebay seller. Thank-you.

Jayo xo

Favourites!

My favourite;

1. Beverage: Tea with a splash of milk.
2. Poet: Robert Frost.
3. Workout: The walk from my locker to the school canteen.
4. Handbag: Tan mimco satchel bag.
5. Youtube video: Toss up between 'ghetto gumby' and anything about 'beetlejuice'.
6. Book: The Firm by John Grisham.
7. Photographer: David Lachapelle.
8. Shop: Brunswick savers and all outer suburb opportunity shops.
9. Deceased celebrity: River Phoenix.
10. Song: Anything from Coldplay's 'Viva la Vida' album.
11. Necklace: My black and gold rosary beads.
12. Footwear: Mum's miu-miu chunky wooden platform heels.
13. Movie: Se7en.
14. Subject: Anything performing arts related.
15. Model: Natalia Vodianova.
16. Annoying animal: Possum.

With love,
Jayo!

News of biblical preportions!

Thick-as-can-be black eye make-up, bushy decorated eye-brows, over sized round shades and perfect physiques.

Oyster magazine.

The fourth of October.

I bought packet pancakes, mini tubs of creamy vanilla ice-cream and frozen berries and whipped up a breakfast for the man in my life to celebrate six months of totally superb dating. We watched Usual Suspects and talked sparingly of our day plans.
When I had eventually been able to pry my hands from my cheeks after the shock ending to Usual Suspects we headed down to the local newsagent.
As I scaled the aisles of over priced stationary and bad comics I stumbled across the above mentioned bible. Oyster. Flipping through the pages, I was sucked into a world of delicious fashion and outrageous photography that I didn't want to leave.
And you know what happened. My perfect boyfriend stumbled over, tore the magazine out of my tight little fists and took it over to the register where he purchased it for a mere twelve dollars fifty!

The most perfect anniversary ever.

Thankyou prince charm-er-rama.

JAYO!

Travel sickness pills.

Crappy day yesterday.
Fashion TV was screening completely horrid runway shows which left me with almost no inspiration to try out the apple diet.
There were no rice bubbles left in the pantry and even if there were mum rang in the afternoon to tell me the milk was sour.
I had blown all my money of double beef and cheese's from McDonalds which meant I couldn't go and buy more milk.
And on top of that, I made the inevitable discovery of the 'facebook' epidemic. All my friends have migrated from myspace to facebook rendering me completely communicationless (probably not a word).

So after putting up with feeling dull all day I came to the conclusion that I needed to sleep.
The only problem with that is that I'm terrible with nanna naps. If I snooze in the late afternoon, I can almost always never get to sleep that night.
So I made the hasty decision to dunce four travel sickness pills after reading carefully every warning on the packaging at least twice.
It indicated that I shouldn't take more than four pills within twenty-four hours, so I gulped down four and four only.
It also heavily implied that sleep would be the outcome of taking such medication.

And you know what, I passed out cold at 7pm and slept riiight through until 10am this morning.
Perfect!
And not only did I sleep like a drugged baby, but I woke up to discover that Casino Royale was on TV.

So, thank you very much travel sickness pill manufacturer.
My pill popping served me well.

Seeyou bye.

Jayo!!

Wonderful world of ebay.

My mother has an addiction. Mum spends her spare time photographing totally hideous clothing from the back of her monstrous wardrobe, and then tries to flog it on ebay to unsuspecting brand fiends.

However yours truly had never really gotten into the ebay scene. I have an account and password sprawled on a piece of paper somewhere that is probably invalid because I haven't checked it in so long.
I do recall buying a pair of aviator sunglasses a few years ago in a desperate attempt to seem cool. That, and a horrible 'Bardot' halter-neck number that has remained in my cupboard with it's tags on to this very day.

While mum hesitantly left the computer the other day with her ebay account open I had a bit of a search and came across a few bargains that I immediately fell in love with.

EBAY IS SPECTACULAR!!!

My first watched item is ending at 8pm tonight and I will fight to the DEATH to purchase it!
It's a ruffled red dress with big elegant sleeves. Very jayo.

Anyway, lets all pray that the ebay Gods are on my side this evening!

Bye-bye,
Jayo.

Fits children aged 3-8 years old.

Had a good friend's themed eighteenth birthday celebration on Friday night.
The theme was childhood, and you could interpret that any way that you wanted to!!
This was undoubtedly a total score for all guests involved. Theme parties where you're forced into a lame outfit are mildly tiresome. I can only thoroughly enjoy a dress up gathering if I have chosen my get up!
So I'd been searching on web and on foot for the appropriate outfit.
As I scaled the aisles of K-Mart one evening I finally came across an aisle just BUSTING with childs costumes that were 'childhood' appropriate.
I decided, after much agonising, on a $20 reversible Snow White/Cinderella costume that was ultimately designed for a child aged between 3-8 years old. You can understand the hardships I underwent to get it on.

In the end, I got my granny to cut the back open and hem it so it would be backless and would allow me to breathe minimally.
The outfit was a success!
So if anyone is seeking a cheap outfit, head to K-Mart. It is totally crammed with mini outfits just crying out to be chopped and changed to your body type!

Jayo out.

Craig me off a piece of that.

Ooh. Bit of a play on words.
And guess who I'm talking about..

Daniel effing Craig.

NEVER in my life have I seen a man wear a dinner jacket so beautifully.
I am yet to see a man with the same sculptured abdomen or perfectly formed biceps that Daniel possesses.
He is honestly a work of art.
I do feel compelled to share with you some particularly delicious photos of sir Craig.


His movies including partial nudity are;
1. Casino Royale
2. Tomb Raider
3. Flashbacks of a Fool
And probably others. It has just been too difficult for me to continue DC research because I'm too mesmerised by his phenomenal looks as it is.

If you do find the time to hit up Google images, beware!
Daniel's luminescent blue eyes will melt you like the Wicked Witch of the West gets melted in the Wizard of Oz.
And she really cops a good melting.

Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed todays blog.
As I write, I am watching Casino Royale with a longing gaze.

Tata,
Jayo.

No effing way.

I'm at a loss for words when looking at these people.

Gaze in wonder at them with me, wont you.

_________________________________________

Her physique please.

Her boobies, ta.

Her shorts, cheers.

Her luminescent skin, yay!

Her flowing locks, yeeeah.Their wardrobe, hoorah!

Her big ass shoes, mmmm gimme.

I'm so envious.

Oh so envious!!!

Sayonara,

Jayo.